shock waves

Let's see where do I start? My plane was an hour late taking off so that means I arrived at Upaya an hour later than expected. I was greeted by a note and a map because everyone was in zazen(meditating).
I found my room...and put down my luggage(I overpacked again as usual)...and immediately sat down and cried. My brain just freaked out screaming "What have I gotten myself into?".
This is like communal living. Everyone here is so organic (translation no waxing). There is NO fashion whatsoever....but hey that's all part of it right? And to think I packed nail polish remover and nail polish for manicures, plus a moisturizing masque.

I am as far removed from my life that I could possibly be. There is no turning back though. I just have to tuff it out. They crazy thing is that I am more or less on my own...at least for now.
Tomorrow I will get my work schedule and from there I guess my new life begins. I have to be on the mediation mat at 7 am...

I already miss my husband so much that it hurts and I only have 32 more days to go before I see him again.

The roads are all dirt and the view looks barren so far. Hike? Run? I hope I can find my way around to do those things.

I am just trying to remain calm and I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be easier...by then I hope the shock waves will have diminished. Say a pray for me.