I am okay just as I am and so are you....unless you rock toe funk.

Okay...so I am looking at "did I get what I need from this experience?", and I would have to say yes I did. I got that and much more in actuality. All said and done I think I arrived at I am all good just as I am. Sure, the sits are a way of getting in touch with myself, watching my thoughts, allowing myself to rest. Fundamentally though I would have to say that I subscribe to Byron Katie...read all three of her books...AMAZING....the Course in Miracles, and of course God, (you can apply whatever name you are most comfortable with here, but for me it is and always will be God.)

I really love the sits...except with this women's retreat... They are loud and they move around a lot during the zazen. Plus the cushions are sooo close to one another that I cannot deal. I am not into big women's groups..I prefer the small and intimate or the one on one.
This occurs way more like a hippie fest to me than anything else. Birkenstocks, gray unkempt hair, toe funk, dry skin, make up free full on expression. Some of them talk really s-l-o-w and soft...it drives me crazy. And someone is always crying. They leave today and I could not be happier.

There are some people here that I have connected with and will stay in touch and then there are some people here that I cannot wait to say goodbye too.
There is a "priest" here who runs a group called "METTA". It is for people with diseases...like cancer. I asked her twice to join the group and twice she put me off...nice huh, very priestly of her. Right now she is in the kitchen and it is very early...people sleeping all around...and she is so ignorantly loud. I want to say something so badly, but this is my practice.
KEEP QUIET.....
She is one of the most unfriendly people I have met here. Sad, huh? I think she must be in a lot of pain. She has all these dietary restrictions yet yesterday I see her hoovering the chocolate covered strawberries like no end. Life is full of contradictions huh?

They best thing about the trip is that it is almost over and I am alomost home! HOO-f&^%$#@-rah!!!!! I have come to realize that cancer or not, chubby or not, hair falling out or not, I am really a very lucky and loved girl.
I have the world's most amazing husband...and my family is beyond extraordinary...even with all the drama and all the flaws I would not trade them for the world. And those of you that are my clients and friends make my life even more amazing. You are like the preverbial cherry on top. Thank you for choosing to be in my life.

Okay I have to go cause one of the women's retreat participant's is evil eying me for the computer...I wnat to be a f-u but I am Zen now....

peace, love, light and glitter
lotus girl